Poop University

More from the crime log

(I like to think this was all involving the same group of people- some huge party in a parking lot with tons of free snacks, monkeys and drugs. One can only hope.)

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Welcome to the Poop Police "policenews" daily e-mail list, a log of
significant reported incidents and case updates.
The following incidents are being investigated by the Poop University
Police Department:

West Campus:

09-05-06 at 8:02 am at Poop Dorm: An employee reported that he found a snack machine damaged. The glass was broken out of the machine and glass was all over the floor. One or more suspects had stolen all of the snacks out of the machine.

09-05-06 at 2:22 pm at the Poop University Primate Center: An employee reported that someone had used her maiden name and duke work address to make fraudulent purchases. It does not appear at this time that the employee's procurement card was used.

09-05-06 at 2:54 pm at Blue Zone 4: A student reported that they left a generator, two speakers and an amplifier unattended and unsecure in the woods near the lot after tailgating with a large group of people. The student went to the at about 6:00 pm on 09-02-06 and did not return for the items until 2:00 am in the morning. At that time all the items were missing.

09-06-07 at 10:43 pm on Poop Blvd: A Poop officer stopped a speeding vehicle. The driver had an outstanding warrant for Failure to Appear in Court for a felony drug charge. The Poop officer placed the driver under arrest and the driver received a $5000.00 secured bond.

posted by Lou @ 8:50 AM